do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
