Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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