she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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