my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
40s are totally the cure
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
