Me too!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
