your thong is hanging out like whoa
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
