i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
