just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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