4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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