last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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