Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
