Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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