We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
