I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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