The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
