She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
be right there i have to get my cape
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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