Sry I called you an 8
only if we run a train.
done.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
