i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
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I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
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Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize