wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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