Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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