I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I want to have your abortion
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
