The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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