hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
