I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
