You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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