I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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