is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
