what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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