went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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