It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
