Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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