none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
