his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What drink are we having for lunch?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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