I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
