You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
