Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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