im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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