Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
