Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
