I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize