I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize