Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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