but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
