I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
