if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Can you repeat that, but with context?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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