life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
