I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
