I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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