i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize