can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
