I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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