I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
operation harelip BJ is a go
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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