She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
