Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
