It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
