i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
