Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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