you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
