Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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