I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
