I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
