Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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