Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
