Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
they're like a gay fantastic four
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
