Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
