the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
